things i should not do
Jan. 6th, 2010 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
falloutBECOME A HERMIT -- My self-esteem seems to take a nosedive whenever I spend periods of time away from most social situations. Or, in simpler terms, when I don't go to school or work. Despite the fact that I'm almost always FREAKING OUT about one or both. Ha. But sometimes I think back to things I did just a couple months ago and I think, how did I do that? I could never do something like that now.
THINK AFTER 2AM -- This is bad because my depression is at its very worst when I need to sleep. And when I need to sleep, I end up thinking. It's awful, and I inevitabley end up feeling horrible about every choice I have made or have yet to make. I try to tell myself that it'll be better in the morning (it always is; I'm not at all in my right mind at that hour), but sometimes it's very difficult, and I've made myself cry before.
CREATE TO DO LISTS -- God this is like a guarrantee that I will not do something. I've realized that my relationship with todo lists is a strange one. When I haven't done something that I need to do, it will nag at me until I eventually buckle and take care of it. With todo lists, once I write an item on there, it removes enough of the weight of responsibility that I feel I can go on ignoring it. When I tell people about my anxiety issues they're always like, "Just keep a list of what you need to do and work through it!" No. No. MY BRAIN WORKS IN OPPOSITE LAND. Also this is not a todo list, okay.
NOT EXERCISE -- Huurrghhh I was walking regularly BUT THEN I STOPPED. And I need to, since I'm no longer getting exercise from my job.
NOT DRINK WATER -- Another thing I used to be good at, but got out of the habit of doing when I started college because I was all CAFFIEEENNNEEEEEE. But it's not healthy and I need to stop.
THINK AFTER 2AM -- This is bad because my depression is at its very worst when I need to sleep. And when I need to sleep, I end up thinking. It's awful, and I inevitabley end up feeling horrible about every choice I have made or have yet to make. I try to tell myself that it'll be better in the morning (it always is; I'm not at all in my right mind at that hour), but sometimes it's very difficult, and I've made myself cry before.
CREATE TO DO LISTS -- God this is like a guarrantee that I will not do something. I've realized that my relationship with todo lists is a strange one. When I haven't done something that I need to do, it will nag at me until I eventually buckle and take care of it. With todo lists, once I write an item on there, it removes enough of the weight of responsibility that I feel I can go on ignoring it. When I tell people about my anxiety issues they're always like, "Just keep a list of what you need to do and work through it!" No. No. MY BRAIN WORKS IN OPPOSITE LAND. Also this is not a todo list, okay.
NOT EXERCISE -- Huurrghhh I was walking regularly BUT THEN I STOPPED. And I need to, since I'm no longer getting exercise from my job.
NOT DRINK WATER -- Another thing I used to be good at, but got out of the habit of doing when I started college because I was all CAFFIEEENNNEEEEEE. But it's not healthy and I need to stop.
